Hey Soul Sister

The twins are playing quietly in the living hall and you are peeling an orange on the kitchen bar. You are watching them and you are also secretly peeling the orange. Why secretly? It must be a secret because the twins love oranges more than they love Dibo. Okay, maybe not Dibo, but definitely more than, say, Timmy or Handymanny. Yup, definitely more than Handymanny. Anyway, you are about to eat your freshly peeled orange when a twin looks up and sees you. She gets up and starts to walk. You try not to panic. You stop whatever you’re doing. You look closely at her. You quickly identify which of your identical twins is now running towards you at top speed.

If it is Raisa, you will shove the entire peeled orange into your mouth before she gets to you. Then you say “finish” as best as you can when she asks for it. Raisa loves oranges, but not for eating so much. She would eat about a quarter of it and she would smear the rest over every surface she can reach.. and on the TV screen.. especially on the TV screen. She has probably made a deal with the families of ants living around the house that she’s going to feed them with oranges every time she gets the chance.

If it is Raina, you will reluctantly offer her a slice. Raina will also make a big mess out of the orange, but at least she will do so while trying to eat it. She will eat most of it and more importantly she will leave the TV alone.

You are relieved to see it is Raina. She puts out her hand, says “nak” and you give her the first slice, amazed that the whole transaction is taking place only a couple of meters from where the Orange Destroyer is happily playing with her blocks. Raina, very pleased with her new acquisition, does what every good human being would do. She walks right over and shows it to her soul sister.

"Raisa, nak ni? nak?" you hear as you quickly shove the rest of the fruit into your mouth… and hide behind the fridge.

Note: This photo has nothing to do with oranges.

Life With Twins

Last night I had an epiphany while trying to balance Raisa on my shoulder and playing some clapping games with Raina at the same time. Both were crying loudly. They just had a fight you see, over a book that seemed so interesting right now. The same old picture book that nobody wanted not half an hour ago. All this while Argentina was playing South Korea live on TV.

That’s when I realised that Twins do not obey the basic laws of mathematics. You may think that two babies means twice the work, right? No. Absolutely No!

Try to imagine this scenario. Say your wife tells you to wash a pile of dishes by dinner time. That's work. Now say your wife asks you to was two big piles of dishes by dinner time. That's twice the work. And now suppose your wife asks you to wash both big piles of dishes at the same time. That's twins!

But then again, big piles of dishes don’t cry their hearts out. They don’t mind not being picked up at the same time. They don’t poke each other’s eyes. Come to think of it.. give me those big piles of dishes anytime.

A Letter of Apology

Dear Nuha, Raina, Raisa and Supermama,

As you may or may not be aware, the World Cup will be starting in a few days time. World Cup is a big big event that only happens once every four years. And many people all over the world will stop everything they do so that they can concentrate on the World Cup. Well you see,  I am also like those people. Many times you will see me stuck in front of the TV, not moving but always yelling for no apparent reasons. And for that reasons I would like to apologise to you in advance.

I’m sorry, if I woke you up in the middle of the night with my GOOAAALLL!! scream but did not come into the room quickly enough when you cry for me. You see, they will show the replays after every goal and I cannot miss that in order for me to discuss the important details with my friends the next day. I will come to soothe you in 10 minutes ok, unless somebody scored another goal.

I’m sorry, if your milk formula taste weird. Sometimes I get confused and cannot remember how many scoops I put in, especially when there’s an important game showing on TV like Spain or Argentina.

I’m sorry, if you peed on the bed and on your twin sister because I forgot to put on a new diaper for you when I took off the soiled one.

I’m sorry, if I got very sleepy in the morning and I took you to the mamak shop for teh tarik instead of to your tae-kwan-do class. I’m sure you can still kick ass even though you miss a couple of classes.

I’m sorry, if I tossed you up in the air like I always do but forgot to catch you back.

I’m sorry, if I call you Torres, Messi and Van Persie instead of your real names because sometimes names got mixed up especially when I’m looking at the TV while talking to you.

I’m sorry, if I kiss and hug  the TV more than I kiss and hug you.

I hope you know that although it might feel differently for the next four weeks, I love all of you very much more than it is possible to love another human being, like Fernando Torres, Steven Gerrard or Mascherano. You are more precious, treasured and cherished. I am grateful every day for the gift of being your father and I could not have asked for a more perfect children. I pray that someday you will understand what happened during this time and that you will be forgiving of the many yells and oops that were made. Most importantly, I just pray that you always know how much you are loved. Now, move a bit please, and let me watch the games in peace.

Love,

Abah

p.s To all mommies out there, on behalf of all the daddies I would like to say that we are sorry for the neglect, our insensitivities and overall moronic behaviours that you’ll have to endure for the next 4 weeks. Blame it on the fever. the World Cup fever. yeah!!