At the age of almost five, Nuha’s grasp of naughty words is still not quite there. But she’s very observant of the few words that she knows are naughty and would immediately catch me or Supermama whenever we happen to slip. Therefore, me and Supermama (well, me mostly) have devised creative ways to get out of the hole whenever we are caught by our little inspector with bionic ears.
Scene 1 (While driving and after a bloody rempit on a kapchai simply cut in front of the car):
Nuha: Abah you said stupid! Mama said we cannot say stupid.
Abah: (First you have to deny it like a pro) Eh! mana ada. I know that is a naughty word and I don’t say naughty words.
Nuha: Betul Abah! Nuha hear Abah said stupid.
Abah: (Then you do the twister) Ohh.. Abah did not say “stupid”... I said “stop it” but maybe because I said it very fast and the the sun is so bright outside.. maybe it sound like I said “stupid” but no no no that’s a naughty word and we don’t say naughty words ok.
Nuha: hmmmm ok lah (thought i caught a little smirk there)
Abah: fooh! For now.
Scene 2 (On the sofa in front of the telly while watching some snail slow movie)
Abah: Slow gila la movie ni (not realising Nuha was sitting next to me)
Nuha: Mama, Abah said “gila” (btw, gila is mad in Malay but in this case the usage of the word is similar to friggin as in it's friggin slow)
Abah: (caught with pants down.. requires ultra quick thinking) Eh Eh Eh I loooove ice cream. Who wants ice cream?
Nuha: Me Me Me
Abah: Come lets go get some ice cream
Nuha: I want chocolate ok.
Abah: ok sayang (Fooohh! Diversion tactic still worked but wont be for long). Good thing Supermama was too far to hear our little ice cream agreement.
So far, I haven’t managed to ascertain how many words are naughty words and how many more are socially acceptable. I wonder what prompted Supermama to tell Nuha about naughty words. But somewhere deep down, I suspect I am probably to blame.
P.s we do try our best to keep our words proper especially in front of the girls, but it takes superhuman strength not to slip..